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Less than 3 percent of all marriages were interracial in , and the public generally disapproved of such unions. Interracial marriage was even illegal in at least 15 U. Although the U. Supreme Court ruled that laws prohibiting interracial marriages were unconstitutional in , a reported 72 percent of southern white Americans and 42 percent of northern whites said they supported an outright ban on interracial relationships. Not surprisingly, this transformation is most evident among young people.

As the education and income gaps between racial and ethnic groups shrank, so did the social distance between them. While racial discrimination is still evident, the boundaries separating the major ethnic and racial groups have become more porous. A recent survey found that young Americans ages 18 to 29 have nearly universal acceptance of interracial dating and marriage within their own families. Older Americans are not as tolerant: About 55 percent of those ages 50 to 64 and just 38 percent of those 65 or older said they would not mind if a family member married someone of another race.

Most people appear willing to date outside their race, but they still state preferences. A recent study of profiles submitted to the online dating website Match. But most Americans marry someone of the same race. And, as sociologist Dan Lichter points out, the biggest increase appears to be within minority groups.

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My cousins can be split into two groups: Ones who grew up with weaves and skin lighteners and ones who needed sunscreen and haircuts. Our family is a classic case of women and the black men who left them versus the white men who stayed. I remember being 6 and slapping my white uncle in the face to figure out why his face turned bloodred.

I wondered how men with such delicate bodies seemed to be the only ones who could endure the storm. When my cousin on the all-black side birthed a baby girl whose father had become abusive, we took a long ride to a shopping mall. She was looking to me for advice on raising a fatherless child, considering my firsthand experience.

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Leah Donnella. What’s in a name? Each week on “Ask Code Switch,” we tackle your trickiest questions about race. This time, we’re unpacking that old nursery rhyme: First comes love, then comes a heated discussion of unconscious bias, then comes a baby in a baby carriage. My boyfriend is Mexican and I am white, and we have started discussing marriage. I floated the idea of taking his last name, but he was strongly against it.

He doesn’t want an obviously Latino surname think: Lopez or Garcia to affect me negatively via unconscious bias, like when I apply for a job. I can appreciate where he’s coming from, but I’d like to share a name with him. Honestly, it’s mostly because my mom has a different last name than mine, and growing up, that caused some issues with school and insurance. I also suggested that I take both last names legally, and then professionally I would just use my “white” name, but he was against that as well.

I don’t have the tools to work through this issue. Can you provide some insight? First, some background.

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